Thursday, September 15, 2011

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) My Reflections

As defined in the handbook, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a system of communication based on the principles of nonviolence and compassion.

The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process involves four components (Rosenerg, 2000):

 Observation;
 Feelings;
 Needs;
 Requests

Nonviolent Communication requires both expressing honestly and receiving emphatically through the four outlined components.

 Observations:
Observations on concrete actions that affect our well being should be made without judgment. This requires us to clearly state the concrete actions of the other party which have an effect on us with ascribing any interpretation or motive to it. This means we try getting the other party to understand the specific action we are concerned about.

 Feelings:
In describing our feelings in relation to what we observed, we are able to get the other party to understand the reaction their action provokes in us. Like it is rightly noted in the handbook, we are responsible for how we feel; we have full control over how we allow words of actions of others to affect us.
By clearly expressing the way we feel over an action, the other party will understand the effect his/her/their actions have on us.
In some instances, the action might actually not been intended to annoy or harm us and the expression of the psychological reaction the action has on us could lead a clarification over the intended motive.

 Needs:
By being able to clearly voice out the unmet or injured needs, values or desires that create our feelings, the other party will most probably be able to understand d why we feel his/her/their action affect us.

 Requests:
With non-judgmental observation made, resultant feelings expressed and unmet needs clarified, concrete requests for remedial action is the final component of Nonviolent Communication which will convey in concrete terms what we expect of the other party.

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This work by Ibrahim K. Oyekanmi ( is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.